Iran Fires Missiles, Throws Fit

Iran Viewed As Threat, Wants To Make Sure World Notices

That asshole Mahmoud Ahmadinejad* is at it again.

In a most assholish move, much like that of North Korean "Dear Leader" Kim Jong Il, Iran has fired nine "test" missiles into the Persian Gulf. This comes only one month after Israel conducted a military drill in the Eastern Mediterranean. Both Israel and the United States have voiced concerns over the latest Iranian activities.

This is not unlike the February 2003 North Korean missile-launch that went down 60 km from the peninsula, however, it is viewed as more of a childish fit than North Korea's cry for attention. Iran, at this point, is much more like that weird kid in class that eats the glue and plays in the sandbox by himself.

[That is all]

*Pronunciation: The easiest way to remember Iran's president's name, as Katie Couric has stated, is "I'm a dinner jacket". Of course, the actual pronunciation is Ahm-a-dinn-eh-jad.

For my mother (who is from Massachusetts and can't say "r"), this should suffice: "Arm a dinner jad".

Fermenting Tension Pops Cork In Iran

(Possible) Revenge Served At Room Temperature

This may or may not have been the case late Saturday night when police officials in Shiraz, Iran say a bomb may or may not have caused an explosion in a mosque that left an estimated 9 people [possibly] dead and 105 [maybe] wounded.

The expolsion [perhaps] shattered windows in nearby houses and buildings nearly a kilometre away [may have] felt the blast. The [possible] Governor General, Mohammad Ibrahim Ansari Lari, stated "there was no bomb."

"Initial surveys about the cause of the blast have proved there has been no bomb involved in the incident and, therefore, there (are) other probable causes," the governor general said.

Other causes, according to police officials, include:

1. Notorious Bordeaux terrorist, Cabernet "Big Red" Sauvignon
2. The "White Zinfandel"
3. The dastardly "Pinot Gang": Noir, Gris, Meunier and Grigio
4. Chardonnay, leader of the Méthode Champenoise (may be connected to the "Pinot Gang")
5. Sam Beam of Iron & Wine

That is all.