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Karnas TickroBlog

Thursday, 2 October 2008

$700B Plan Causes Anarchy, Disaster Across Nation

Bailout Plan Causes National Hysteria As All $700B Arrives At Once

In a freak event shortly after 5:00AM EST, all $700 billion necessary for the economic bailout plan arrived in Washington, D.C., spilling over into Virginia, Maryland, Pennsylvania, North and South Dakotas, Delaware, New Jersey and the useful part of Georgia, crushing most areas under the load's tremendous weight.

Reports have come in from vessels all over the Eastern Seaboard that U.S. Secretary of the Treasury Henry Paulson was seen standing atop what looked to be a giant tsunami of cold-hard cash before it destroyed most of the United States.

The Financial district in New York, however, finally lucked out as investors and brokers alike clammored the banks of the Hudson River, picking cash floating from what was once New Jersey from the waters. Reports from all over the Northeast tell us that banks and businesses everywhere are "doing swell now".

[That is all]

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