SALUTATIONS

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Karnas TickroBlog

Tuesday, 13 May 2008

SHANKING ON A MONDAY NIGHT

IF YOU DON'T KNOW Michael Saxon, you are in for a real treat. A recounted story, with instructions on...

HOW TO ALMOST GET SHANKED: A GUIDE

Earlier this night at IHOP:

Jacob Brown,
Michael Saxon,
Steve
and I (Author)

were having a good time. Unfortunately...
Taylor wasn't there.

While outside, perfecting my new unit of measurement*, we noticed what appeared to be a group of five or more gang members across the street. One appeared to be injured. While watching, Michael Saxon (who until this time had been inside paying his bill) decided to get their attention AND WAVE TO THEM.

Two of them broke off from their group and ran towards us, seemingly READY FOR ASSAULT. Steve screamed and threw himself into the car. Jacob and Michael hastily got in as well. I continued smoking (not realising what was happening) until I was forced in. Upset that I hadn't finished my cigarette, I then saw the attackers approaching.

Brown threw the car in reverse and left through the back entrance. We circled around to not only get away, but also to see if they were still there. I was still upset about my cigarette and grumbled about this all the way back to Saxon's.

LET'S REVUE!

Sure steps that will most likely LAND YOU IN THE HOSPITAL:

1. Find a group of two or more gang members or 'thugs'.
2. Bring attention to yourself. Waving a coloured cloth or rag should do fine.
3. As we said "almost", find a place to hide or GET AWAY QUICKLY.
4. If you are with friends, apologize profusely, even after you've been dropped off. Text messaging is a great way to annoy everyone involved. This will probably not help your case.

*(See Things You Did Not Know About The Author: Article #4)

[That is all]

2 comments:

satire and theology said...

LET'S REVUE!

Sure steps that will most likely LAND YOU IN THE HOSPITAL:

1. Find a group of two or more gang members or 'thugs'.
2. Bring attention to yourself. Waving a coloured cloth or rag should do fine.
3. As we said "almost", find a place to hide or GET AWAY QUICKLY.
4. If you are with friends, apologize profusely, even after you've been dropped off. Text messaging is a great way to annoy everyone involved. This will probably not help your case.


Good advice, and I would not suggest trying to beat someone over the head with a Bible...literally or figuratively.

Taylor Genovese said...

Fantastic. I wish that I was there so that I could've done a mobile blog on it.