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Karnas TickroBlog

Thursday, 19 June 2008

8 Out Of 10 Scientists Agree: Emo Kids, Cowboys Share Same Genetic Make-Up

New Study Breaks Barrier Between Rival High School Genres

In a stunning discovery, geneticists in Stockholm, Sweden have finally proven the link between Emo kids and cowboys. The Stockholm Brain Institute says that 8 out of 10 scientists agree on the new breakthrough's findings.

The Swedish study compared the size of the brain's halves in 90 subjects between the age of 13 and 25. Emo kids and cowboys had halves of a similar size, while the right side was bigger in everyone else, especially heterosexual men and lesbian women.

Scientists have noticed for some time that emo kids and cowboys have differences in certain cognitive abilities, suggesting there may be subtle differences in their brain structure. This would explain the difference in music choice.

Dr. Phillip S. Gallagher, a US scientist, stated this is evidence that not only is sexual orientation set in the womb, but so are high school factions and cliques.

"Look at them," said Gallagher, "I mean seriously look at them. They both wear skin-tight jeans and tons of black. They both wear bandanas and sometimes plaid, and I know at least one cowboy in Arizona who has his labret pierced and nipple rings. And hell, they both mope around a lot."

"They also like to take pictures of themselves with no shirts on," he also stated.

When questioned about the neurological findings, Dr. Gallagher stated that he "had to get going".

[That is all]

4 comments:

satire and theology said...

Emo kids and cowboys had halves of a similar size, while the right side was bigger in everyone else, especially heterosexual men and lesbian women.

I knew it.:)

Jacob Karnas said...

I FEEL THAT this study hurts me as well (as I am pretty emo).

Note:

http://www.myspace.com/jieuxdujour

satire and theology said...

I am not on My Space, but am on Facebook and StumbleUpon. I bookmarked your page.

Jacob Karnas said...

THANK YOU, Mr. Murray.

I'll search for you.