SALUTATIONS

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Karnas TickroBlog

Thursday 26 February 2009

Let's Take A Break From The Unordinary

I would like to skip off the path for a moment to point out that the industry I have for so long desired to be a part of just went COMPLETELY FUCKING INSANE.

To clarify: Hollywood is even more fucked up than it once was.

Further clarification: Universal has greenlighted some of the worst ideas ever and the rest of the film industry decided to do the same.

The following films are set for production:

Monopoly (2010) - directed by Ridley Scott
Battleship
Ouija (2011)
Candy Land (2011)
Clue - directed by Gore Verbinski
Heavy Metal (2010) - directors including Gore Verbinski and David Fincher
Untitled American Idol film - starring Anthony Hopkins as Simon Cowell
Total Recall - remake from Neal H. Moritz
Flash Gordon - Neal H. Moritz producing, Shia LaBeouf rumoured as title character

On the bright side, there are also some good films slated for production AND release soon:

Robin Hood (2010) - starring Russell Crowe as Robin Hood and the Sheriff of Nottingham with Cate Blanchett as Maid Marian, directed by Ridley Scott
Bioshock (2010) - directed by Gore Verbinski
21 Jump Street - written by Jonah Hill, Neal H. Moritz producing
Luke Cage (2011) - starring Tyrese Gibson
Knowing - starring Nicholas Cage
Duplicity - starring Clive Owen, Julia Roberts and Paul Giamatti
The Haunting In Connecticut
Angels & Demons
Terminator Salvation
Night At The Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian
Up
The Year One
Whatever Works

Good outweighs bad. Good job on not sucking COMPLETE ass, 2009 (But you still suck enough).

[That is all]

Monday 23 February 2009

A MYTERIOUS NOTE (PART II)

I apologise to you for my absence, Reader. I do, however, have for you the thrilling conclusion to the letter which I found in a nether-world.

"Nether-world?" you may ask.

Yes, nether-world.

While searching for the second half of the torn letter, I came upon the very same trinket our subject Lord Chesterfield-Kensington happened upon before writing said note. After reading his account, I will let his writing on the event explain what happened to me nearly two months ago as it seems he went through the very same ordeal.

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large leather-bound book with enormous hasps. It took me nearly three days to unlock only the first! I finally was able to open the book (which was hand-written in a strange dialect of Latin). At first I thought it to be an odd attempt at humour, yet it commanded that whoever read from the book first speak aloud three words printed on the first page. I did so and was transported to another world. The experience was quite interesting.

There I saw ghastly people about. Skeletal and dead, yet walking about as alive as you or I, were the inhabitants. They seemed hostile and I was thankful to be rescued by a large-chinned man whose name I seem to have forgotten. I couldn't have been there for more than an hour (as the maid said she had seen me not long before when I returned), yet that hour felt as though it were months.

I do not wish to bore you, my friend, and you'll most likely think me a drunkard after reading this. However heed me: Do not enter this house. If I invite you here, do not come. It is most likely Evil Percy, as he is called.

Your dearest friend,

Lord Percival Roderick Ignatius Chesterfield-Kensington IV

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Disturbing.

[That is all]