Greetings
I have been informed by my editors that I am allotted five days off per season. For this, I am thankful. Do not, however, misunderstand my relief. I enjoy writing these whimsical "news tales" for my Readers' enjoyment and revel in the fact that I am humourous.
However, there come times when writer's block, or sometimes depression, will set in and the humour is hard to come by. This is where I shall leave off. Please note the image below. Clicking on it will open a new page with a hilarious falsified news story written by the comedy geniuses at The Onion. This will serve as my replacement for today's article. I will return tomorrow.
That is all.

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